I have been
on campus for almost an year now. So I
want to share everything I've learned as
a student, a hustler, and everything in between. Some of my points of view may
be overly opinionated, ethnic, and chauvinistic, but I hope I make sense at the
end of the day. So, without further ado, how about we get started? The lessons
are numerous and are not in any specific order.
On social media
Instagram has made even the most boring classes pleasant. With
over 300 students in a class, the lecturer can't keep track of everyone. If
s/he boring, at least 67 percent of students will be on Instagram or Facebook,
for the more sophisticated, Twitter.
Regarding debts
Save your best friend's friendship by not owing him or her more
than Ksh. 2000. Anything less is excusable and forgotten, but anything more
than that will always be difficult to pay and will jeopardize your friendship.
Allow her to sell that expensive phone or refer them to a shylock who will lend
them money if he or she is desperate enough. Even if it is for a dying mother
in the hospital, give but never expect anything in return.
On HELB Loan
This money cannot survive a week, according to scientific
evidence. Unless you are a Usenge or Bungoma villager with little wants and
unfamiliar with F2 club, it simply vanishes from your account. Its arrival is
announced quicker than the speed of light. First, We sign in and
withdraw the first two Ks for liquor. After 13 hours, we return to withdraw 6K to pay debts—We pay
the school tuition if it is the first semester and drink all of it if it is the
second semester because it always comes on Fridays.
On banks and banking
Those from the village are always members of the National Bank. The
Sophisticated Rural with Equity. Those who attended mediocre provincial and
national schools always bank with KCB and Cooperative. Those born and raised in
town or from more affluent households do it with Barclays. Student ATMs are only operational at the start of the semester
after the loan has been granted. Following that, 89 percent of
ATMs are merely ornaments in the wallet. Furthermore, students typically
withdraw to the last cent, withdrawable
On MU and other campuses
Main Campus is exceptionally the best
campus in Africa. Nairobi Campus is the worst
conceivable campus. I'm at a loss for words. What do people train for there?
Please, God, don't.
The town campus( school of medicine) is my ideal campus; it is
cool, calm, and has a quaint university feel about it. Annex has some lovely
ladies, but they are conceited in the way that only lawyers can be.
Looks and impressions on guys
A man is as attractive as his circumstances allow. Three women
have ever told me that I am handsome, but wait. They were exorbitant, and I
believe I was footing the bill. So never be concerned with appearances. If you are tall, you
have already spared yourself some trouble. Campus ladies are still in the
fantasy phase of their lives. If you are short, go to the gym and dress
upscale. If you are neither, simply get a large sum of money. Money, according
to the scientists in my head, has the same biological effect on women as attractiveness, comedy, intellect, and
anything else that draws women. Remember that shoes and a good belt are
important.
Size does matter.
A well-groomed man may keep a woman longer than a man who lacks
expectations in the bedroom. A huge man down there can be abusive, yet she can
still stay. A man with a massive cock can be broken and the lady can still
endure him. There are sexually desirous ladies out there with whom you can
maintain a relationship just on the length and hardness of your cock. If you are short, get the money and invest in other compensatory
elements; nonetheless, there is no known substitute for length and girth...but perseverance is required...Women in their twenties are experimenting and will go out with
as many men as they can in search of the perfect partner. Given that most of us
are ordinary at best, the search usually takes longer.
On beautiful and attitude
Beautiful women come in three categories; beautiful but boringly
cautious. They don't date easily or are stuck in some lackluster relationship.
Secondly, beautiful but with an attitude that can explode a petrol tanker.
Thirdly, beautiful but generous and supply it campus like they don't care
On campus sex
I could be wrong, but the proportions of promiscuity on campus
are usually exaggerated. Only 10%, in my opinion, are in stable relationships. Only 27%
have access to consistent sex. and 15% get access from the estate or in the
community. The rest have their
own ways of dealing with sexual tension. Vaseline, soap, a carrot, a banana, a
dildo for those who can afford it; whatever achieves the end will justify the
means. Meanwhile, if you ever had the misfortune of having a randy roommate
with a siren girlfriend, you were always in peril
SEXILING is a common occurrence. And there was always a particular group of males who
were dedicated to throwing parties or getting college ladies intoxicated to
have faster hustle-free sex. To tango, two people are required. There were both
loose guys and loose ladies. Each class had its fair number of people with
morals more suited to strip clubs or sex shops
Regarding
sugar daddies
It is
not a major occurrence. Some 3% of the females have access to wealthy guys who
buy them gadgets and send them off on campus on Sunday evenings in large cars.
That's all. Some 17% of the females date yuppies, the younger trendier men with
Toyotas and salaries of less than Kshs 80,000 who live in struggling
middle-class estates.
Regarding
MUSO
The
less said about it, the better. It is a heinous organization that takes
advantage of needy students' subscription payments. It doesn't help that 97.5
percent of students don't give a damn about it. And to think they have so much
to offer students. MUSO has remained consistent over the last decade and is
unlikely to alter soon. Unless the administration takes the necessary steps to
cut the subscription fee to Ksh 20.
MUSO produces lousy leaders, and Kenyans should avoid them in the future. Can't we
just skip them completely, given that the crème of the country went through Moi
University and yet they can't find adequate solutions to our 767329 problems...
When will Moi University begin to produce leaders with even a smidgeon of
integrity...
On how
different we are
I met a lovely lady who wanted to remain celibate for the rest
of her life. But she dresses in low-cut dresses and a variety of miniskirts,
exposes her cleavage, has a killer ass that she doesn't cover, and most
essential, she listens to Westlife and Eddshearn. Okay, we can put her picture
in the dictionary instead of the term contradiction. She was once in my room
from 6.53 p.m. to 4.01 a.m. and nothing happened. Granted, I'm a bit slower,
but that had to be the most difficult nut to crack. And to think she claims she
has never been abused and is thinking about joining a nunnery. Best wishes to
her.
I've
met other guys who had heartbreaking stories. Some guys have lost their parents.
Some have seen their parents go through traumatic divorces. Some mothers have
given birth to stillborn babies and survived to tell the tale, although
stoically. So be respectful to everyone. Not every happy face is truly happy.
To survive in this harsh, savage world, we must all put on masks. Above all, we
are all on a journey.
On the
women who became pregnant at an inopportune moment
Keep
the child. It always shows you as mature and willing to accept responsibility.
It's the right thing to do, and it's also good for you. It can be inconvenient
at times, and it usually happens at the worst possible time. There aren't many
males who stick around after the news. It is the realization that you are an
individual, and that pleasure shared between two people when translated to
pain, is a unique experience.
Anyway,
the baby might come in handy at some point...
Who
knows, and it may save you grief in the future when you can't locate a male to
steal sperm from and you need that baby...
That's
all I'm saying.
Kikuyu
ladies
They're
lovely. They're amazing. However, males in Western Kenya (93.7%) believe that
you can simply date and lay them, but when it comes to marriage, CAUTION is the
essential word. I don't necessarily agree with this concept ( two of my marriage
candidates are Kikuyu, and my friends think I'm crazy), but you can't disregard
it either. Please, God, don't.
On the
Luo Guys
They
are the most difficult competitors in the seduction game. They artificially
increase the bar for guys like me. One of the things I've had to cope with is
the reality that the sexiest Kisii females on campus have a penchant for Luo
men. It's like a bug in the dark...consistently annoying. But kudos to Belles,
Oduoris, and Otienos, the lake's brothers, for increasing the bar.
Regarding
lecturers dating students
It does
happen. STGs (sexually transmitted grades) are real. The most troubling aspect
is that the lecturers have no idea how to seduce the young women. As a result,
they must spend money and employ some of the oldest techniques in the book,
which only work on the planet, Neptune.
I'm
working on a blog about the lecturers' pranks and awful courting abilities.
To be
continued........
Ps;
Part 2 of this will be uploaded in our next blog. And guys please do not hesitate
to comment, share, and tag your friends along.
Ring,
or even WhatsApp me through 0759208020
dravilduke88@gmail.com
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