THE TRAP OF THE PAST

 

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"Is there anything else Freddy you would want to carry, a memento or something?"

"Nah. I ain't want one for looking back. Eyes Ahead," says a crestfallen Freddy in Season 2, Episode 9 of House of Cards (Netflix).

For those who haven't watched the House of Cards Series, here is a brief background. Freddy is an ancient, tall, rugged man who runs Freddy BW Joint, a dilapidated restaurant in Washington D.C. that provides these decadently delicious port ribs beloved by Frank Underwood (the series' lead actor who progresses from House Whip to Vice President to President throughout the series). He is a powerful man in Washington who sneaks into Freddy's joint for ribs and a change of pace with Freddy

Freddy makes a terrible blunder when he tells the media about how popular his ribs are that even the Vice President comes for them. The story explodes. Unbeknownst to him, someone digs out dirt about his past in the high-octane Washington D.C politics where Frank has so many enemies, and it turns out he murdered some people and was imprisoned many years ago. So it's about to blow up that the VP dines at a restaurant owned by an ex-convict, which political opponents exploit.

This realization couldn't have come at a worse time. Because someone wants to franchise Freddy's restaurant and offered him $95,000 upfront. Freddy wants to make right with his son, who is on parole.

When his son comes to work with him, he notices how wealthy his father is. He encourages his father to be more cautious because the restaurant is now making big money, and he even shows him a gun and tells him that they can use it to defend themselves if they are caught by thugs. The father is enraged that his son doesn't care that he is on parole but manages to persuade him to dispose of it. As they walk home, they are approached by photojournalists who are eager to make a feast out of the narrative of joint. One inquisitive journalist irritates the son, who loses his cool and pulls out his gun.

Freddy's riches plummet horrifyingly. He is an ex-convict, and now his kid on parole does the unthinkable, forcing the guy who wants to franchise the joint to withdraw because he intended to target white people, who can no longer dine at a joint controlled by criminals.

They have that chat I started with as Freddy is having his final conversation with the buyer who chooses to pay him $45,000 for the lot. Freddy will need to raise an additional $15,000 in addition to the $45 to bail out his son.

That line, "I ain't one for looking back" got me thinking. 

"Eyes Ahead".

Privately, I do try to focus ahead. The reason I am not a big fan of reunions. The reason why I rarely want entanglements with exes. I am always in this, "on to the next" mood.

But the truth is that I can't escape my past, and it has recently been very intrusive. It is impossible to avoid your past because it shapes your present and future. But some of us cling to it too tightly. We pay far too much attention than is necessary.

I meet folks who are so hung on their past glories. So hang on their past hurts. Past betrayals. Past loses. Past victories. Past lovers. I am a victim of the same too.

I meet folks who are hung up on their prior successes. So they cling to their past wrongs. Previous betrayals Previous defeats Victories in the past. Former lovers I, too, am a victim of this.

But is it possible to break free from the drawbacks of our past? I can see how positive and pleasant recollections might be helpful. But what do you do when something from your past causes you pain? You are harmed.

That is why following Freddy's advice can be beneficial.

Eyes ahead. 

There is something also Freddy tells Frank Underwood, when Underwood goes to tell him to shut his trap and never once associate the joint with the president or reveal that he has ever cooked at his place... Freddy tells Frank about his days in the streets and his son being born while he was in jail.

"I can take back the bad I did."

Similarly, we cannot undo what we have done or what has been done to us. That is why, like some reptiles, one must heal, unpeel the old skin, and emerge with new skin.

We look to the Bible and the well-known narrative of Lot in Genesis. Lot's wife disobeyed God when he commanded him and his family to leave Sodom and Gomorrah. n Genesis 19:26: But his wife looked back behind him and she became a pillar of salt."

Many of us are held captive by our past. We have the key to get out of here, but we prefer the safety and victimization of it all.

But here's the thing.

Holding on to the past can prevent you from growing. It can make you feel less worthy than you are. It consumes so much mental space that you can clear it and use it for other creative endeavors.

So, today, realize that you can't change the past. It's fine to think about it, but don't overthink it. And begin planning for the future by making wise decisions today.

Here is a lovely week folks. Keep warm. Drink lots of water And don't forget, Eyes Ahead