ABOUT PAIN

If I sound like a motivational speaker, know that am preparing myself to be an Evangelist in my next life 

photo|photosearch 

 "You must beware of two things. Number one and most dangerous: the damsel in distress. Two: a woman who has more ambition than you do."

Now scrub the last bit of the quote because it is not our point of talking today. Anyway, this is a powerful quote I read in Mario Puzo's Last Don, more than a year ago and it has stuck with me all along.

I've been posting a lot about pain lately, and the response has been overwhelming. Man. The emotional burdens that individuals bear. The heaviness of their thoughts Everyone has a painful story to tell. Some are more horrible than others.

I've been researching how pain affects people.

And there is agony behind every depressed person, every incurable arsehole, every withdrawn person, every smiling person.

Why we hurt each other as human beings remain unclear. Have you ever been duped out of your hard-earned cash? And you see the con someplace, sipping expensive whiskey and posting his pictures with a greasy smile, completely ignorant to the agony he has caused you? Happens. Have you ever been ghosted? It makes you question what the wrong is with you. Have you ever grieved the loss of a loved one? Know how powerless death makes you feel since death is usually a comma, never a full stop.

Pain, on the other hand, might be trivial. It's being sold as a deceptively attractive avocado, only to go home and find it's a soggy mess with dark threads. It's seeing your crush pregnant for guys (I'm not sure what the feminine counterpart is). It's hitting your little toe on the bed's side (not trivial).

Pain is inadequate. Not being able to provide for your family, or even yourself. Pain is knowing that the Jubilee administration is not good everyone for, yet some people still vote for it, twice, no less, and act surprised now that they are considering voting for one-half of the disastrous duo. Humans are incapable of learning. Man. 

Some of the pain is induced by one's actions. It's like when you drink too much and know you're going to get a hangover. Or when you drink your rent money and the caretaker is always on time, and you have to phone pals to top up, and even the once you thought to be liquid prove difficult. Pain sometimes is not following advice. 

And advice is man's most worthless invention. Because we never heed the advice. Humans were never built to take counsel. Have you ever attempted to advise someone in love? Or a man with money? You end up embarrassing yourself. 

The more grownups I meet, the more I realize that we are all walking trauma storage units. We keep track of every bad thing that happens in our lives. We let some of it go. Some we hold onto all the graves. 

Trauma stifles growth. However, there is no getting around that. You must go through it and with it. Good luck surviving and living to tell the tale.

Stoicism philosophy has recently gained popularity. Learn more about it. But that is still insufficient in my opinion. It's OK to strive to be resilient and stoic, but the pains and agony we face require more than just playing tough. Because each case has its own unique merits and quirks.

Because life is unjust. Some people breeze through it without a hitch, with everything they need or want at their fingertips. Others struggle to even find a matching stick. Both never consented to be born. But, as Professor Nyasani writes in one of his philosophy books, once you are born, you are condemned to live the life you are consigned to.

Call me a cynic, but I've learned that pain is always around the corner. It never fails to surprise you. It may sometimes come from unexpected places (like the cases where trusted friends or relatives defile children). So it's best to be ready for the unpleasantness of pain. Have a section in your mind that handles it anytime you are hurt.

I don't want to make your life any gloomier than I have in the previous few months. But I've been having philosophical thoughts about life. Everything is stupid. The pointlessness of it all. That the Kerio valley kids live as underprivileged in this country, they are attacked and killed by bandits, the very people are who are supposed to protect them. So what is the point of life?

It is pointless. You must grind it to the end. 

Identify your moral campus. Discover what works best for you. Examine your toxicity in the midst of others. Examine your friends' motives. Not all of your pals genuinely care about you. I should clarify that some friends are not always malicious or terrible; they are simply unaware of the realities of life, and so may present an inaccurate picture.

Many times, you will screw up. Forgive yourself 

Nobody can forgive you more than you can forgive yourself. Take responsibility. Don't pass the buck. And remember that our time on Earth is limited, and life is like a river that never stops flowing.

Above all, don't strive for perfection. Take my word for it. Life is like a broken mirror. It works just as well if you only have one shard.

Finally, there are no simple solutions to life's problems. But trusting in God has always worked for me. So, even among the naysayers here, that is the sole thing that has always worked for me. Not philosophy. Not self-help books. Not popular advice from friends. Only God can lift your pain and burdens. 

Anyway, what has been your experience with pain and how did you navigate it? ( Email me your response or rather lemme know that through your comments)

Here is a fruitful week guys, Have a happy one.