No man on the earth has ever dealt with heartbreak like a man. None. Whatsoever.
He can be big like Goliath, have the thickest beard like a biblical legend, and be a women magnet like the greatest fabled Luo man, yet he can also be dumped and heartbroken.
Every man has that one lady who is capable of putting him in his place.
He can be the head of a country's military, one of those faceless deep state officials who decide who the next president of a country is, or one of those hit men who can plant two cold bullets into your heart and two to your head, in other words, as manly as one would imagine the toughest man is, but trust me when I tell, there is always one woman who told them, "you ain't shit."
Barack Obama was told that. Cristiano Ronaldo has been told that. Steve "Stonecold" Austin was told that. LeBron James. Donald Trump. Nelson Mandela. Wilberforce Wafura from Kakamega, Brian Osano of Kisii, and Duke Dravil of Nyamira.
Every man will be done dirty once by that one gal and he will never recover from it.
There is no manly way to deal with heartbreak. For the simple fact that women serve heartbreaks when you are at your weakest as a man when you are deeply in love and at your lowest, perhaps materially.
I was just dumped on a Sunday Morning. It is one of the stories I will beat when am high enough.
But Man! Never, ever, ever get dumped on a Sunday morning. You can be the most red-pilled mofo, waking up at 5 a.m. to take a cold shower (colder than recommended), taking his whiskey neat, a man who can kill a python single-handedly, but being dumped on a Sunday morning will leave you weak and sickly. That Sunday, I experienced Malaria-like symptoms, as well as indicators of Covid and an allergy attack. My joints, in particular, ached a lot.
The most troubling aspect of heartbreaks for me is the part when, as a man, you talk to yourself loudly while strolling around town or in a market. The talking isn't even the issue. But then you realize you're speaking Kinyarwanda. It's extremely terrifying if you don't speak or understand Kinyarwanda.
Heartbreaks leave a mark on you for the rest of your life. I've been in bars with guys in their 30s and 40s who never stop talking about the one girl who took their heart and carelessly flung it on the ground for sport, like a beautiful glass cistern holding a valuable liquid. It may be your high school crush. It may have been your college kienyeji who dumped you for the idiot who showed in a Subaru. Regardless. The first genuine heartbreak you experienced remains with you for the rest of your life.
It hurts because the girl continues unhindered. I've done enough research and guys, Karma never works on the girls who treat guys properly nasty. They continue to prosper. They marry correctly, and whatever ridiculous wishes we have that they will marry some western Kenyan thug who will beat them up and be a horrible, deadbeat, kid daddy to deserve those 'hidden my ID' posters on female chatrooms, but utangoja kiasi. Kungoja utachoka.
It hurts because for a girl you love, as a man, you will give your best. You will forgo your lunch to send her internet bundles. Forsake your rent man to send her cash for her nails. Kick your kid bro out to accommodate her. Hate your mother if she tells you to. Sweep all the dust in Kesses as she asked you to. Sometimes all of the above.
And then, on a random Thursday, owing to a little misunderstanding, she says, "this won't work."
You'll understand what she's saying. You will read the message approximately 69 times. You will make a plea. However, if she is nasty, she will block you and move on. If she is a serial murderer, she would gradually distance herself from you, even giving you what Maina Kageni used to refer to as Migingo ya Woyee. And then abandon you.
It will hurt because you will sit down and feel inadequate. Fell the cruelty of the world. Most men when heartbroken have confessed that their sky turns red. Bloody red. You will feel like you want to die. Some die actually. Sometimes a slow death. Sometimes instantly. There was a story in the New York Times, The Lonely Life of George Bell. The man got dumped when he was like 25. He never married and lived and died alone to be discovered so long after his death. That is what heartbreaks do to some men.
It hurts even more if you seek an explanation and she either feeds you nonsense or very unkind information or if she is related to Idi Amin Dada, she will feed you with insincerity. It's one thing to be thrown out. But nothing feels awful than a wuman lying to you to make you feel better. No woman knows how to lie to a heartbroken dude. Because they are typically so done that they simply wish you could be a guy and take it on the chin.
Except you can't act like a man about it.
Heartbreaks stay, it is forever tattooed on your brain and heart. You go with it everywhere. It’s there when you are saying hi to your mother. It pees next to you in the urinary. It is the elephant in the room when you go to a restaurant and order your favorite Americano, and the waiter asks for your order; before turning to it and taking its order too. It sucks, man. You live with the kind of hatred only love can understand.”
Most of my buddies and I never strive to be powerful or shit like that. Naah. We're all too honest. We talk about it. Laugh at it. We envisage towering, powerful males with thick fingers caring for our snatched girls. We envision them having the time of their life that we could never provide. We envision them contentedly preparing for the other guy. Making the greatest chicken curry, topped with fresh dhania. We only make nasty jokes about it, man. But it's all to mask the pain
I smoke.
I read.
I play Jay-Z's song lost one
But the pain stays. If you are a publicly-traded company on the stock exchange, your worth plummets to nothing.
As a pragmatist, I long accepted that heartbreak is one thing life guarantees every man.
There's an SDA girl who dumped some guy around a week before the wedding. And married another wealthy man hapo kwa church tu. They changed their church membership because it smelled smelly. My homeboy hata hatakangi kuona dame siku hizi,
Every man's heartbreak is an initiation ritual. You just need to go through it once to become a man.
Because of rejection, many men have gone on to achieve so much. Constructed homes and skyscrapers. They were elected presidents. Some, on the other hand, wish to prove the lady incorrect rather than accomplish these things for themselves. Even if you become the ruler of the universe, few women who dump you care. Few people ever lose sleep. Most don't care since a woman who dumps you seldom checks your social media. Even your death will not move her. When you die, she will not type RIP on your page.
Sadly, some guys become buried in their heartbreak. In a state of self-pity. Don't.
You have no control over the situation. And here's where you may all follow Eddy's instructions by reading his column(s), beginning with the one from last Saturday. Enjoy his writing.
Finally, the sooner the heartbreak, the better for the male. Because it immunizes you against future disappointments. Nothing a wuman would ever do will surprise you after the big one. Unless, of course, you are an idiot who never learns.
Have a fruitful week guys.
(dravilduke88@gmail.com)
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Comments
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