Types of women on campus
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| Photo; freepik |
Women have been scientifically proven to be a confusing bunch. I loathe clichés such as the one I just used, yet don't women live clichéd lives? Have you ever gone shopping with a woman, particularly in town? NO. Rupaz Mall.
It may appear harsh, but all facts and truths are. Have you ever attempted to comprehend a woman? It is quite challenging. Believe me, I have. Women are unsure of what they want. Pick a random lady and ask her what she wants out of life, and she will either pretend ignorance or proceed to recite 97 things after you stopped listening to her dreamy narration after the second thing...
When I'm down, I pick a woman (usually a stranger) at random on campus, chat her up, schedule a coffee date with her, and go listen to her talk about stuff. It is both enjoyable and therapeutic. Crap is therapeutic. Women are fascinating to listen to. Listening to a lady rant about her stuff and guys makes you question why Churchill is still trying so hard to be funny. Women desire a man who can do things for them. As my boy, Joe pointed out the other day, go the extra mile.
A woman wants 107 things from a guy and will repay by lying on her back and counting stars on your ceiling. To be honest, what can a lady offer you in exchange for the treats she wants from you while ranting and raving about herself other than sex and plenty of nagging, especially the not-so-beautiful ones...
To think about it...
Have you ever considered what women say after a breakup?
"I did my best...
I gave you everything I had...
and so on..."
She means, "I gave you p****." Period.
With that less-than-savory preamble, this week we classify women on campus, and any harsh description apologizes for upfront. I hope the humor (if there is any) does not get lost in the harsh tone of this article. This blog is all about having fun. Having stated that, we proceed, albeit in no particular order...
The Stupid bitch
She must be the one who sticks chewing gum under the seats. Quite revolting. She has more issues than a magazine stands on a street. Any lady who does this is a moron. She is disliked by both male and female students. She has a loud tongue, frequently assumes she is hot, has poor fashion sense, and believes that playing tomboy will make everything better. Doesn't. She occasionally appears crazily clothed, with silver lip gloss that resembles the devil. She is petty, yet she confuses it with beauty. You're wondering how she got to campus. She is petty, yet she mistakes it for beauty. You're wondering how she got to campus. She does not come across as intelligent. She is free, although she can be challenging to lay...
The stupid girl believes that the world (or, in this case, the university) owes her a living. She is a diva, albeit a lousy one. Nothing intellectual will ever come out of her mouth... I despise even writing about her, so let's go on to the next category, which I greatly admire.
The Motherly Sisters
These women are older than the majority of their contemporaries. Something, most likely a child or two, must have wasted a year or two before enrolling in college. They have a motherly appearance and demeanor. Most of the time, they are overweight, and their bust appears to be about to burst.
They are modest. It could be due to maturity or the realization that life was never intended to be and will never be fair. They are completely uninterested in make-up. They are at ease with everyone and frequently attend church regularly (as in dutifully)
The rigors of motherhood stress them greatly, and I admire their forbearance in the face of derision from the younger girls who act as if they are getting any younger... and men who treat them as though they were moms or blood sisters
They are less fussy, do not care about fashion, and can even shave their hair without anyone complaining because people perceive them differently. This is my favorite category. A mature woman frequently turns me on (not sexually you pervert)
The Beautiful Confused
She is conscious of her beauty. She is acutely aware of the fact that she is a bore. It is difficult to hit on her because; she is saved and typically attends a church with a name that is followed by either hill or a chapel; She is still dating her high school sweetheart or is in a strange stable relationship; A virgin dreading the big bang.
Even her friends find her boring. She does not drink alcohol because the last time she did, she did not enjoy the experience because she awoke uncertain of what had occurred.
She could be lovely, but by the end of her first semester on campus, most guys would have realized that her sole claim to fame is her attractive face. She doesn't have anything intellectual or amusing going for her. She won't give you her phone number. Tragically, they lose their virginity to the least deserving dogs (don't ask me why) and often the simplest to knock off. Later on, many men neglect her and completely forget about her.
The beautiful Spoilt
She is stunning, yet she has the personality of a brick wall. You'll be tempted to tell her to put on makeup inside out. She truly is a diva. All the men admire her but lack the courage to approach her. She is often educated, but she is so blatantly bitchy that few males in school dare to approach her, let alone date her.
Of course, she was indiscreetly generous in her first year, and a couple of men got a cake out of her before she settled for the sixth-year Engineering guy who left her after a roller-coaster relationship. She will rarely date on campus after this, though she will occasionally be laid by some brilliant guys who help her with assignments because she is always busy.
In her later years, she transforms into a gold digger, with the word "expensive" written all over her face. She dresses expensively, has expensive jewelry, and a scent that can kill a roach. One thing is certain, they have a price, and anything with money, even if a baboon will lay them, otherwise I don't understand why some lady I like and desire got laid by some aide of the deputy governor...
That chick is Slightly above average and not extremely beautiful
That lady is somewhat above average but not particularly attractive. When a guy is asked his opinion on her beauty, he must twist his mouth and oddly nod his head to imply disagreement or disapproval, yet it is generally accepted that they are lovely, or to use a stupid phrase, 'f**kable or doable...' Spite of the fact that there is always something out of place, that small bum, very tiny or very huge boobs...
These cliques usually exaggerate their beauty and would often go in a group with mediocre Marys and Janes only to feel hotter than them. She is well-equipped with artificial intelligence (from movies, inspirational books, and, of course, Aunt Google) and is typically intelligent. She usually has enough intelligence to back her up, and she is not blonde.
Although she usually has issues with men, most men find her to be cool to be around. She wants a decent man to keep most of the time, but good men are only interested in dating her briefly and shag her before dumping her. She is frequently unworthy of retaining because she is too active and difficult to trust. She is far too open with males. She expresses her mind, however, it is not the most engaging thing to listen to. They are terrific girlfriend material, but you will have to compete for her attention with her many male 'pals,' all of whom are as mysterious as they come. Some are churchmates, and some are just buddies, even if they seem like pussy robbers. . Because of their appearance, guys repeatedly fawn over themselves to pamper them; they don't know how to say NO. They frequently have some religious connection and occasionally attend church...these churches are for the affluent folks. They are, nonetheless, friendly.
The lovely and comfortable
They are exceptionally lovely and sweet, but the world does not revolve around her appearance. Like that Coastal girl in our class who everyone thinks is the thing. She's not particularly attractive enough for a movie role, and she's fairly short, but it only takes 7 seconds of meeting her before you notice the earth beneath you changing.
She's mature and charming. You don't want to date her while she talks to you. You know she's out of anyone's league, and it's fascinating that many males equate her with Mercs and huge automobiles, although she doesn't appear materialistic.
I'm always bewildered as to why every other girl isn't like her. She is beautiful. She's hot. The pinnacle of both beauty and virtue. She has no problems with males. She is known to only be in monogamous partnerships.
The Groupies
I'm not sure why groupies come in fours on campus. They are similar to adjectives... GOOD, BAD, UGLY, and the other that cannot be classified. The ugliest member of the group is frequently the group's voice of reason and the most vocal. Many men's fates are determined by her view. They are always there at every social function and are notorious for backbiting each other.
The most attractive woman may become so involved in her image that everything revolves around her, or she may abandon the group entirely. They usually have problems and think together. It's known as the HERD MENTALITY in English.
Average Carols and Marys
If the first thing a man compliments you on is a part of your body or your outfit, you know you're lacking in the looks department. Everything about them is ordinary. From the classroom to the hostels to the guys they date. They are sexed on average. They are clad decently and are on their way to campus. They will work hard, earn a degree, and then find work with an NGO or a government ministry. They go to church and are just another face in the crowd... Even this description should be considered average.
The little girls...
I'm getting tired of this...
But let us try it again.
These ladies are little, diminutive, and short. Frequently silent or garrulous. They rarely arouse sexual desires in males. They are both youthful in age and mind. What I've noticed over and over is that these women yearn to be loved. They desire romance. They long for the ideal romance they hear about all the time. They are suckers for books and soap operas. They are also vulnerable.
College Suppliers
They've seen a lot of pleasure sticks by the time they're done with the campus. Long, short, little, large, black, brown, thin, fat, some pointing up, some pointing down, and so on. They are either sex fanatics or can't live without a man. If a man is feeling very randy or has accidentally ingested Viagra, such a girl can rush to his aid. They are frequently assumed to be risky lays...
Alcoholics and party animals
When you call them for liquor, their promptness will surprise you. They've partied in almost every bar in town and have been fungwad several times. Simply buy her alcohol if you want to lay her. They dance a lot and are often the antithesis of preconceptions such as those connected with USIU girls. I had to come to a halt here and save those bloodthirsty people who chat in their native tongue... Nothing is as bad...
See you next week for even more fireworks...
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