A THING ABOUT MONDAY MORNINGS

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Weekends have varied connotations for different people. Some see it as a chance to unwind after another insanely busy week. Some see it as an opportunity to attend church, see family upcountry, or about town. Some think it's time to get lay and have a wonderful time out here.

We have no business with people who go home or to church today. They're doing the right thing, and no one writes about doing the right thing anymore. Let's just focus on the perverted type who needs to be laid or do something 'interesting.'

Monday morning has a surreal quality to it. Something enigmatic. Something ostentatious. Something inconceivable. Faces have several expressions: smiles, simpers (that sheepish smile), grins, indifference, implacability, and so on. Women will have various hairstyles, great skin, and a glow about them that is fairly revealing about their excursions.

Monday mornings have a certain tone to them. Over the weekend, you can tell who did what to whom. You can tell who had a good weekend from who didn't. Just look at their expressions; those who appear typically irritable did not get the sex of their lives that they had so eagerly anticipated the previous week. Those with sunny dispositions must have screamed the names of sex gods in some hotel or their yuppie partners' apartments. So, if you're sitting in an office or class and the woman next to you appears busy and concentrated but with a satisfied look, she's ruminating over the fantastic weekend experience. And ladies can act as if nothing has happened.

The British Comedian Seymour Hicks once said ‘No one knows more about women than I do. And I know nothing,’ I have never agreed with a statement so much.

Moving on to sexual escapades, ladies nowadays look forward to a nice lay. Men are no longer men. I'm still perplexed as to why. Please assist me. My yuppie or business acquaintances constantly tell me that their women will be coming over every other day, and they are the ones that insist. Women in their twenties and thirties adore sex. Those who date wealthy men appreciate it even more.

I'm referring to college or varsity ladies, as well as those who have recently started working but have not yet married. Marriage is a different ball game when you have children. Weekends are thrilling experiences for many ladies, and they look forward to them all year. They have filthy minds and are walking sexual encyclopedias. We live in a sex era, where sex is at the center of everything.

A weekend without a good lay is incomplete unless she is inconvenienced by the monthly bad days. By Friday afternoon, they have disconnected from their workplace or school. They'll be grinding their asses against men's groins in nightclubs and restaurants on Friday night. And currently, they only dance with women, this we will discuss this in our upcoming postings.

Back to these ladies. They are tremendously thrilled about the entire weekend. They have a social life. They enjoy it. They are immersed in it. Look at how much time and effort they put into their appearance and make-up. Every other woman's money nowadays is dedicated to her makeup. Take a look at the pricey hairstyles. When you look at how they dress, you get the impression that everything is designed to make them look irresistibly sexy. It's not a negative thing...just it's a little tedium.

We gaze at cleavages every day of the week, some of which are not worth revealing. Every day of the week, we are presented with a variety of bottom shapes, some of which are truly hideous and eye pain. Every day, we are served thighs, some of which are good but bony, or stretch marks that are so monotonous they hurt. It's awful. I wish women could be more empathetic in all they do. We're sick of these obvious and brash displays of sexuality.

However, on this cool Monday, we are back to work and class. Everyone is engrossed in distant memories that are now disappearing. I can envision that 'haki Mike ni mzuri' or 'that was one hell of an orgasms' expression. It makes little difference to guys. Because I can't recall the last time was an issue for us when it came to sex. It is time for IT on any day of the week.

May the day break.