I DON'T WANT LOVE!

"We have 99 problems and women ain't one of them." Jay Z 

Photo, freepik 

I've scrutinized myself, and I don't believe I have anything substantial to give a woman. There is nothing. Not because women have hurt me in any way. Just a straightforward assessment. I don't think a lady has anything to offer me too. 

I'm fine with platonic companions, coursemates, and meme-sharing, and I have a lot of female friends for that. In regards to romance, I have no expectations.

On my campus, relationships seldom last three months. Only a few meetings, two or three sexual encounters, mutual disinterest, and everyone returning to their lives. On to the next one. Neither gender can offer the other anything tangible.

Given the largely foreseeable outcomes of relationships in our generation, happiness is the obvious choice. Do you want to date? Best wishes, bro.

All that I  want is to live in a decent neighborhood. Grab a decent grill for the barbeque. Spend my money on nice whisky and cigars and read Anton Chekhov in the morning, Woke Soyinka in the afternoon, and Tom Clancy at night. I want to watch Western classics throughout the weekend. Or, if I'm in good company, 1990s reggae, some Ferre Gola acoustic, and Madilu laughing. That is why the rich uncle in Karen continues to motivate me. I mean he's unmarried at 50. 

I want to return home alone, with a beer can in one hand and ground nuts in the other, and collapse on my couch to watch boring documentaries. Isn't this a pleasure? 

And everything will be OK.

So, here are quick ten lessons for kings:

1.If your friend's girlfriend flashes you that lustful smile, it is your responsibility to ignore it. If you let your mutual lust, get the best of you, the blame will be squarely on your shoulders.

2.Bros, before girlfriends. We will be your pallbearers.

3.Do not rape.

 4.Sleeping with your friend's ex is never a good idea. Unless she was one of those gals, or your friend is the type who doesn't mind or gives you the free pass. But I can promise you that he is thinking, and this is a trap. Shag her all you want, but if he ever gets a million-dollar deal, he's not going to swing it your way. You have given up a wonderful friendship for the sake of lust.

5.Do not disclose your boy's club secrets to any of your boys' spouses or girlfriends. The boys will find out, and you will be shunned.

6.If a girl says "NO," move on. Don't take it personally because there are so many girls.

7.Seek out high-value ladies rather than petty liars, beggars, and women with no standards. It is less expensive. Women of poor quality are fertile ground for pain. The virtues of honesty, integrity, self-respect, a high and realistic sense of self-worth, kindness, empathy, and femininity are more important.

8.Don't let an insult from a woman make you feel terrible about yourself. Every man will be told a nasty, horrible thing by a woman he loves at some time in his life. On the side, it will kill you. But keep in mind that 99.99 percent of the time, when women are upset, they will say terrible things they don't mean, just to demean you. And, certainly, ladies know just where they can hurt you the most. The worse offense is giving in to the insult. An insult can't and shouldn't define you.

9.Do not give money to underserved women. Always get good value for your money. Women can work for their money in 2021; don't encourage laziness. She most likely has more than you.

10.Pursue women who reciprocate your energy, are kind and generous, and intentional. Return every favor she extends to you. 

BONUS  

Don't entertain a woman who flakes on a date, or who doesn't keep time. Don't be desperate. 

Wacha Ujinga toka hiyo friend zone.

If she wants to leave let her go. Walk her to the door, then to your apartment gate, and your estate gate. Wish her well and move on. 

Give her exes the benefit of doubt for dumping her. Men are right most of the time. 

You can never win against the streets. From there she cometh, to the streets she returneth. The Kikuyu old wise men said, there are two types of goats: one that you slaughter and eat immediately. And one that you take home to domesticate. 

PS. 

Here is a lovely week kings. Remember as we said earlier; Eyes ahead. Eyes on the ball. 

Feel free to share manly lessons with fellow men in the comment section. 

This is my second last blog of the year. One more dispatch as we warp up the year.