She has experienced everything. A good relationship. A toxic relationship. Good sex. Bad sex. Tall men. Short men. Well-endowed men. Men who could use a little enhancement in the important areas that matter. She has lived it all, earned the accolades; a child, an abortion, a scar from an unhealthy relationship, a failed marriage, and if fortunate, a successful marriage.
At 28, a woman finds herself either established, startled, bewildered, or adrift. Established, if she is married or has chosen that marriage isn’t her favorite drink, uh, sorry, her preferred drink…let’s say, a bottle of whiskey. Startled if she grapples with the reality of turning 28 so swiftly. Bewildered if she struggles to navigate the complexities of men and relationships. In essence, she cannot distinguish between love and sex. Adrift if she has completely lost her way; engaging in too many casual situations, drinking excessively. Basically, amejiachilia.
28 is an incredible age for a woman. And it comes quickly. Just two or three years after graduation, she finds herself at 28. By that time, she would have dismissed potential men based on their appearance or financial stability. Between 24 (when they graduate) and 28, when they likely have stable jobs or are settled down, a lot transpires. For example, dumping that shady college boyfriend. It happens. I know this because I have been on the receiving end of a breakup. Don’t date older women. Hehe.
A woman at 28 is a formidable presence. Her history is as enigmatic as life on Mars. She carries enough emotional baggage to fill all the storage facilities in Nairobi. She has more complications than all the secondhand magazines found along Kenyatta Avenue, Moi Avenue, Kimathi Street, Tom Mboya, and possibly Ronald Ngala Street.
She has one or two exes who can still sexually access her. One such ex has so much power that when she eventually marries, he will still have access. By 28, a wise and self-aware woman understands her position within the social hierarchy. She is keenly aware of the stretch marks beginning to appear on her otherwise flawless skin. Her breasts start to succumb to the pull of gravity, and for some, the tires of age begin to encircle her waist.
Meanwhile, younger, vibrant women are appearing everywhere. In a bar, youthful, alluring women freshly released from their parents’ supervision will be dancing provocatively against the bodies of men, and she might lack the finesse or energy to keep up with them. Sure, she can buy her own drinks, but men approach her with caution. Younger ones are interested in taking advantage of her finances. Men her age tend to be merely fleeting. The ones looking to commit to her are often bald, have bulging stomachs (think potbellied), and tend to be rather conservative for her taste.
At the office, she may have flirted with her boss or even been intimate with him, but now she faces fresh competition from younger employees and new interns, and she senses the shift. Compliments have become rare—extremely rare. No one notices her new hairstyle. No one admires her sense of fashion. That stunning dress hugging her thighs attracts no attention. Simply because the new intern knows how to style her figure and accentuate her cleavage appealingly. And that creates enough distraction.
At 28, if she’s not in a relationship, the societal pressure to get married can be overwhelming. The sense of urgency feels like it's somewhere between intense and critical. Family members, especially aunts, will constantly bring up the advantages of marriage. It’s worth noting that the loudest proponents of marriage are likely those who are trapped in unhappy unions.
At 28, one or two of her friends may have had lavish weddings, possibly featured on television, leaving her feeling a pang of jealousy. She has likely attended numerous baby showers, and at this point, she'd consider going to extreme measures—like forcing a man at gunpoint—for the chance to experience motherhood. Without a lasting relationship, an imminent wedding, or a child, it's understandable for her to feel anxious.
28.28.28. Typically, it's a time for reflection on her adult life. The various relationships she has navigated. The men she has cherished. The men she has despised. The men who barely register in her thoughts. The men she would date again without hesitation. The ones who initially seemed acceptable, only to disappoint her later. The ones she was indifferent towards but ended up appreciating. Oh, and that one ex she wishes she hadn’t let go. The one she left with just a pair of shoes, only to find out he became the regional director of an NGO. Now he travels First Class, wears expensive shoes, and is quite the catch in town. Such things can happen. She has yearned to reconnect, but he remained unbothered,
“Listen, I genuinely like you, but I don’t think going back will change our situation. We can be friends, and anytime you need help, I’ll always be available,” he told her. And indeed, he did lend a hand on occasion.
At 28, the potential future can either be full of promise or filled with hardship. It’s promising if she has established a solid footing in her career or corporate life. It's hopeful too if she has found a companion to take on the challenges of marriage. Conversely, it becomes grim if she feels as though her life is in disarray. More and more women are increasingly landing in this recognizable situation, where at 28, they behave like college students.
To put it succinctly, most understand that their appeal in the dating market is dwindling, leading some to become resentful and lash out in response to their insecurities. They might develop a false bravado that acts as a shield against a society that can be judgmental about things beyond their control. This can make them come across as demanding, intolerant of foolishness, and generally irritable.
The feeling of loneliness is always palpable. She starts tuning into shows tailored to mature women. You know, shows like Desperate Housewives and podcasts. She finds herself alone with her gadgets and a teddy bear, yearning for a phone call. It’s around this time she considers adopting a pet. If she chooses a cat, there's still hope for her. If she opts for a dog, however, that’s a different story. A woman who picks a dog as a pet often has self-centered tendencies. She could be a lesbian or may have deep-seated issues that only a dog can endure. And there’s a risk that the dog may end up having more privileges than a man in her life…
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